Fizzy Catastrophe

INT. BEDROOM – MORNING

There is an alarm clock on top of the dresser next to a bed. A young man, KEVIN, is sleeping in the bed with his back turned to the alarm clock. He turns over in his sleep and faces the alarm clock. The clock goes off. Kevin partially opens his eyes. He slams his hand down on the clock and turns it off.

INT. BATHROOM – MORNING

Kevin is facing his mirror while brushing his teeth with his eyes still partially open.

Cut to:

Kevin turns on his shower and washes his hair.

INT. BEDROOM – MORNING

Kevin puts on a shirt and buttons it up.

                                                                                                                                                Cut to:

INT. BATHROOM – MORNING

Kevin faces his mirror as he ties his tie.

                                                                                                                                                Cut to:

INT. BEDROOM – MORNING

Kevin picks his pants up off the floor. He puts them on and buckles his belt. He puts on his shoes and ties the laces. He smiles and slightly re-positions his tie.

EXT. HOUSE #1 – MORNING

Kevin is walking towards the front door of a house. He knocks on the door. A YOUNG MAN answers the door.

KEVIN

Hi! I’m Kevin. I was wondering if I could have a moment of your time to discuss…

The young man slams the door in his face. Kevin nods in surprise and walks away.

EXT. HOUSE #2 – MORNING

Kevin knocks on another person’s door. An OLD WOMAN answers.

KEVIN (CONT’D)

Hi! My name’s Kevin.

OLD WOMAN

Really? I have a grandson named Kevin! Are you him?

KEVIN

I… I don’t think so…

OLD WOMAN

Oh, that’s a pity. Well, if you see him, tell him I’m waiting.

The old woman closes the door. Kevin stares at the closed door in disbelief.

EXT. HOUSE #3 – MORNING

Kevin knocks on a third door. A seemingly SINGLE MOTHER holding a crying baby answers.

KEVIN

Hello. I’m…

SINGLE MOTHER

Are you here to take my baby away?

KEVIN

What? No!

SINGLE MOTHER

Then fuck off!

The single mother slams the door in Kevin’s face. Kevin depressingly exhales.

EXT. STREET – MORNING

Kevin is walking down the street as he miserably looks at the ground. He walks into a shop.

INT. SHOP – MORNING

Kevin is walking through the aisles, looking at everything on either side of himself. He walks by the drinks and notices bottles of coke. He curiously looks at them. He shrugs his shoulders and takes a bottle. He purchases it at the till.

EXT. STREET – MORNING

Kevin is walking out of the shop and back on to the street. He looks at the bottle of coke in his hand. He twists off the cork and drinks some. He pauses for a second.

INT. HOUSE #4 – AFTERNOON

There is swift continuous knocking heard on the outside of the door. A MIDDLE-AGED MAN walks up to it and answers. Kevin is standing outside the door.

KEVIN [RAPIDLY SPEAKING]

Hello, fine sir! Wonderful day we’re having. I’m Kevin and I would like your undivided attention for just one moment!

MIDDLE-AGED MAN

Whatever you’re selling, I don’t want any.

KEVIN [RAPIDLY SPEAKING]

I had a feeling you’d say that, but let me change your mind! May I come in?

Kevin walks into the house and past the middle-aged man.

MIDDLE-AGED MAN

Hey! What the hell are you doing??

                                                                                                                                                Cut to:

EXT. HOUSE #5 – AFTERNOON

Kevin continuously knocks on another door. A YOUNG WOMAN opens it.

KEVIN [RAPIDLY SPEAKING]

Good afternoon, beautiful! Womanly day we’re having, isn’t it? [LAUGHS TO HIMSELF]

YOUNG WOMAN

Oh hell no!

The young woman attempts to slam the door in his face, but Kevin stops the door with his foot.

YOUNG WOMAN (CONT’D)

Move your foot or I’m taking it!

KEVIN [RAPIDLY SPEAKING]

I thought you’d say something like that, so here’s what I’m offering you…

                                                                                                                                                Cut to:

EXT. HOUSE #6 – AFTERNOON

Kevin is quickly knocking on another door, but no one answers. He attempts to open the door himself, only to find it locked. He walks over to a partially-opened window. He opens it fully and climbs in.

                                                                                                                                                Cut to:

EXT. HOUSE #4 – AFTERNOON

Kevin and the middle-aged man are exiting the house together. They shake hands and Kevin struts away.

MIDDLE-AGED MAN [SMILING & NODDING TO HIMSELF]

That kid’s going places!

                                                                                                                                                Cut to:

INT. HOUSE #5 – AFTERNOON

Kevin is partially inside the young woman’s house with his foot stopping her from closing the door. The young woman keeps stomping on Kevin’s foot.

KEVIN

See how much you can save every year with this?

YOUNG WOMAN [SHOUTING]

Why won’t you go away?!

KEVIN

Steel-toed shoes! As I was saying…

YOUNG WOMAN [SHOUTING]

If I agree to this bullshit, will you piss off?!

KEVIN

You’ll get a letter with the full details!

 

Kevin shakes the young woman’s hand and walks away. The young woman slams the door shut immediately.

                                                                                                                                                Cut to:

EXT. HOUSE #6 – AFTERNOON

Kevin is exiting the house through the window he came in. An OLD MAN is yelling at him from inside the house. The old man slaps the palm of his hand with a belt over and over again.

OLD MAN [ANGRY]

If it’s an ass-whooping you’re looking for…

KEVIN

Do you really want to pass up on this opportunity not knowing what it could’ve done for what’s left of your life?

 

The old man glares at Kevin, but reaches out his hand anyway. They shake hands and Kevin walks away.

OLD MAN [TO HIMSELF]

Damn youngsters thinking this is their world!

EXT. STREET – EVENING

Kevin is walking down the street. He puts on sunglasses and twists the cork off of his bottle of coke. He drinks some of it.

INT. APARTMENT – EVENING

Kevin is taking off his sunglasses as he is entering his apartment. He takes off his tie, grabs a champagne glass and pours in his coke. He sits down on his couch with the champagne glass in hand. He sips the coke from the glass and exhales with relief.

KEVIN [TO HIMSELF]

Kevin, you sexy cunt!

EXT. HOUSE #7 – AFTERNOON (TWO WEEKS LATER)

Kevin is knocking on a door. A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN answers the door. The resident is shocked and horrified to see Kevin’s hair messy, his clothes stained and how twitchy he is. The door is immediately slammed in his face.

EXT. HOUSE #8 – AFTERNOON

Kevin is knocking on another door. No one answers. In the window, a KID is looking out at Kevin. Uncontrollably twitching, Kevin approaches the window. The kid quickly closes the curtains, horrified by Kevin’s appearance. Kevin becomes upset, looks down at the ground and sluggishly walks away.

EXT. STREET – AFTERNOON

Kevin is sitting down against a wall in the street with a sign that reads “Please buy what I’m offering” as he watches people walk by. A MAN IN A SUIT approaches Kevin and stops at his feet. Kevin looks up at the man in the suit showing him a bottle of coke.

MAN IN SUIT

Want to wrap your mouth around something cool and delicious?

Kevin hesitates as the coke bottle drips, but still takes it from him. He quickly twists the cork off and rapidly drinks the coke. The man in the suit smiles and slowly vanishes as he walks away. Kevin chugs the bottle. After a moment, he stands up and smiles. He begins strutting, but suddenly stops. He grabs hold of his chest in pain and drops to his knees. He struggles to stand up. The pain overwhelms him. He falls over face first and dies on the ground as people walk by like everything is okay.

[END]

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